Poised at the edge
No bets to hedge
Staring at the abyss
As famously said—
It stared back at me
Each moment, an eternity

Time for goodbyes
To the familiar me
And seek the ‘I’
of my deepest desire 
Secure in chambers 
of smothered hope

Arousal is scary 
And I don’t meet it square
I seek to befriend it 
Across the barricade of norms
Enlivened by its touch, I remain 
Fearful of breaching a boundary

Awakened to the new, overwhelmed, 
I freeze and dig in
Lest I be blown away, or be judged,
I retreat to my world
Of the familial and familiar,
Flaccid after the frenzy

No, I am on edge.
A whole different thing
Unsettled, and unfulfilled, my inner world 
of affection deficits and self-neglect
held tenuously, by ties, duty, and fears
Made worse by withheld tears.

Perhaps it is time to see more clearly,
'Was it worth it, after all?'—
The dream and its oppression
The desire and its denial. 
And do what it takes—
For being’s sake.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

—Joseph Campbell (1904–1987) (or not?)