I made choices back then
When the heart fluttered 
From what seems now, 
to have been a passing breeze 
I wasn't windblown then 
So, what got us this far
without the stirrings?
What winds under our wings?

Was it just the force of my will
The whirl of the torment 
With me in the centre
You on the fringe
Held by a tenuous bond 
that offered space within bounds
To think of another possibility 
But deny it any velocity.

Do opposites really attract?
Our differences were repelling.
The disagreements compelling
The love I felt, fleeting.
You became louder, demanding
I, more quieter, passively resisting
Perhaps it was an illusion, insisting
That you will complete me

We were trapped between
Facades of normalcy, and mutual contempt
Acts of indulgence, and lack of connection
Cordiality, and lack of respect
Conflict avoidance, and perennial disquiet
Lavish gifting, and lack of love
Showing the mirror, and viewing one
Staying glued and falling apart. 

Are we capable of kindness
That liberates rather than keep captive
Allowing us a celebration of 
Moments we had, the vices we shared
Rather than guilt-trip with nostalgia
The times we were there—for each other 
Are we capable of forgiveness and gratitude 
Stop keeping count, and simply move on?

Is this an age to walk my own path?
Strong enough to receive another’s love (or wrath)? 
This can I kick, to meet down the road
Is perhaps my destiny, long foretold
To live in freedom till I die
A promise unto self
To not live a lie—
That there is an us without an 'I'.


Image: Magdalena Roeseler (PxHere)